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Hey, it's Matt from the WP Minutes.

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a webinars like Angela's today.

She's talking about leading
through change and conflict.

This was a fantastic discussion.

I really enjoyed it.

you don't see the q and a that happened
after this, but if you are a sustaining

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to our premier speakers like Angela.

Okay.

Without further ado, let's
dive into the webinar.

Angela: Thank you so much, Matt.

yes, change and conflict.

big topics, but also two of my favorite.

and I realize I sound a bit like
a masochist when I say that.

but here is why.

So change in conflict offer fascinating
complexity and how leaders respond and

move during these times really matters.

we have an enormous impact on the people
around us, and I really believe that

now more than ever, we've strongly
need better leadership in this world.

And the thing is that most
of us we're probably never

trained to lead through chaos.

We're usually trained to
strategize, to build consensus,

analyze data to execute, right.

but we're finding ourselves surrounded
by uncertainty in WordPress and

the tech industry and the world,
and there's an imperative for

business owners and freelancers.

Any leader to adapt.

And so you are probably being asked to
lead in ways that you weren't trained for.

And the stakes are really high.

It's no wonder that we are all
really stressed these days.

and it's also why we really need to talk
about the work of change in conflict

as essential leadership skills that are
critical to success in modern business.

I gave a quick intro, but
I've got the intro slide here.

So I'm gonna give a quick, quick thing
about who I am, to talk about all of this.

so yeah, until the end of last year, I
was an automatic sponsored contributor.

I.

And I left to, actually pursue a master's
degree as well and to become a leadership

coach specializing in transition.

So I'm really helping people
who are moving into a leadership

role or increasing their
leadership responsibility.

and so I'm frequently supporting people
through these big, high stakes changes or.

Intentious disagreements
or lots of ambiguity.

And so for me, change in conflict
have really become the work.

and like I said, this topic
is, near and dear to my heart.

So I also have done a fair
amount of research and reflection

on this particular topic.

And so this webinar is.

Informed by both theoretical
and practical experience.

And in particular here I'm drawing from
a really great book by Adam Kahane.

which honestly I would recommend
just for the title alone.

It is called, collaborating with the
Enemy, how to Work with People We

Don't agree with, don't like, or Trust.

I'm wondering if that
resonates with anybody here.

Okay, so this is a really
big topic, that we're packing

into, I think about 30 minutes.

And so if there is one thing I really
want you to take away, it is this,

change is inevitable and conflict is
natural, and leadership is learning to

work with both, starting with yourself.

Leading through change is not
about having the perfect strategy.

rather it is about how we participate
and how we advance, starting with

examining what our role is in the dynamic.

We are going to dig into all of this and,
I do wanna be clear, I'm not promising

that you're gonna leave with all of
your stickiest conflicts resolved.

but I do hope that you're gonna walk away
with some new perspectives and maybe even

some actionable steps on how to navigate,
the uncertainty and change that you are

facing, and perhaps some clarity around
your role as a leader in this space.

And so to get started, let's, get
some baseline of where we all are now.

this is a new to me tool, so we're
gonna see how well this works.

that if you scan that QR code, it
should take you to a Mentimeter poll.

And I would like you to rank the
level of change that you are facing

today, from one to five, one being.

Blissfully bored.

So no changes whatsoever,
to five being help.

It's chaos out there, so
changes everywhere and you

are feeling very overwhelmed.

let's see.

I think it should update
live, but it might, I might

need to just like refresh it.

So we'll give it a second
and see what happens here.

Matt: For the record, I did,
vote and it says, please wait for

the presenter to change slides.

Angela: Great.

I love it.

Wondered by.

Aha.

Okay.

Yeah, so shifting gears
and trying to keep up.

We have one help.

It's chaos out there.

so yeah, not too surprising given
the state of everything that, we

are experiencing changes out there.

So.

Great.

and then, okay.

One more poll, I promise.

Last one.

Okay, so this poll, this time,
I would like you to share how

comfortable you are with conflict.

one being you avoid it at all costs.

You hate it.

three being you're okay with it,
you're engaging a little bit,

and five being you love conflict.

You're ready to take it all on.

All right.

Let's see.

Oof.

All right.

We've got one.

I avoided it at all costs and
one, I try to be diplomatic.

So yeah, it's, thank
you so much for sharing.

the reason I, I like asking this
is because change in conflict

bring up such a range for us.

Like everything here is
completely normal as a response.

fear of, change of uncertainty.

Doubt are all very normal responses.

and at the same time, they can
also inspire excitement, right?

The possibility of something new or
new opportunities or new connections.

even conflict itself holds the same.

Like some people really abor
confronting others, while other people.

I've got a good friend who's just like.

Loves to confront people.

and so it can be really exciting too.

sometimes a good fight can clear
the air and actually for just

a stronger bond between people.

So very normal that we feel so much
around changing conflict and in my

opinion, also pretty cool that humans
have the capacity for all of that.

So, okay, I'm gonna quickly focus
on change at its fundamentals.

So when any sort of change happens, it is
both an external and an internal shift.

So the change itself may be situational,
like it's happening all around us.

and we are also going to
undergo an internal transition

in experiencing the change.

So to visualize this, I always like to
pull the, William Bridge transition model,

which captures how a group of humans
will move through a change over time.

So at the inception of change, you're
gonna have some people who are already

on board, some people who are kind of
unsure, and then quite a few, depending

on the change, who are focused on
what is lost, and then over time.

That kind of shifts.

So not gonna stay here for too long,
only to say that there is a ton of

work to be done with any change.

just in like, not just in the number of
things to do, but also for most people,

the emotions or the feelings around the
situation that have to be processed.

And so an exceptional leader will
be able to kind of anticipate

that and successfully bring
their people through this, and

point them in the same direction.

So to illustrate this
with a simple example.

One big change that we've probably
all heard or seen somewhere is

implementing AI driven support.

often when this happens, there's
everything from fear to excitement,

for example, fear that AI is taking
your job, or questions around if

the AI is going to do the job well.

there might be excitement in modernizing
the tools, and with any change.

Conflict is also natural.

You're gonna have the people who are
just staunchly against implementing that

AI driven support, or you're gonna see
disagreement on how it should be done.

And so in those moments, you can use some
great leadership tactics to just help

your people through the change, right?

For example, acknowledging that things
are lost and validating those experiences.

You can provide resources or
training leading up to the change.

You should celebrate
the wins along the way.

That's, one we often forget to do.

you can also paint a clear
vision of what is to come.

And so all of this works really well
within conventional collaboration, which

is what usually happens within one company
or just one team where we can generally

agree on what the focus of the changes,
the goal, the plan, the steps forward,

and even who is responsible for what.

However, all too frequently now
we are not so isolated, right?

Like we have to work outside of our
nuclear teams, and increasingly we

are dealing with overlapping issues.

So I.

For conflicts and changes that pop up.

We're also seeing increased polarization
where we have people who are very

much on opposite sides of the issues.

And on top of that, you have
multiple changes and multiple

conflicts happening simultaneously.

And so the world that we're faced with
today, William Bridge's great transition

model, looks a little more like this.

It's kind of a mess.

you don't really know where it starts
or where it ends or even where you are.

and this unfortunately is more the
norm for everyone in these days.

And then to compound the problem, we
likely disagree on the problems, the

plans, the focus, and we, there's
no way that we are going to agree

on who is responsible for what.

I see this everywhere.

for example, if I were to ask five
people what the biggest challenge

facing WordPress is today, I
would probably get at least four,

if not six, different answers.

Is it governance?

Is it the product roadmap?

Is it marketing?

Is it lawsuits?

and then WordPress itself is
also part of broader challenges

facing the tech industry, right?

Like we have questions
around ai, ethics, security.

Also governance.

and then beyond that, the tech
industry itself is part of even

broader concerns facing the world.

Political concerns, socioeconomic,
environmental concerns.

These are really enormous challenges.

and as I mentioned earlier.

In these complex problems, we're
seeing more and more polarization and

disagreement, and so we aren't going
to agree on what the core issues or

what the solutions are, and so it's
already supposed to lead through that.

well for these most complex of
challenges where we don't know the

future, where we can't agree on the
problems we're facing or how to move

forward, we are going to try for what
Adam Kahane calls stretch collaboration.

So stretch collaboration is necessary
for when we don't agree on the focus,

when we can't control the outcome,
and maybe we don't even like or

trust those we have to work with.

What we do know is that we
cannot stay where we are now.

We have to make progress.

And so this is a big change in of itself.

Like you can see why it's called
stretch collaboration, right?

Because essentially what I'm asking
you to do is to let go of those

tightly held hopes for consensus and
alignment and trust and shared goals,

all of those really beautiful things
that leaders are usually striving to

build, which is pretty terrifying.

And it can also be really freeing.

So I'm gonna talk through three
core leadership shifts that can

help us lead through these really
complex changes and conflicts.

First, you gotta connect
to the conflict and change.

you have to connect with it if you're
going to lead people through it.

This is because everyone is going to
connect differently, especially given

how complex these situations are.

And so even if we don't agree,
we can still discuss what is

happening, meaning we have to
welcome it and create space for that.

And as leaders, change in
conflict are critical signals.

Critical signals.

They are indicators that
something is happening.

And when something happens, we have to
know what our priorities are, right to us,

to our team, to the success of our work.

It really starts with us connecting
to the conflict and change internally

and defining what we hold important.

And then because we are part of broader
communities and industries, we also

have to connect to other people and
see where our priorities overlap

with theirs and where they diverge.

And what we're working towards here
is building a culture of pluralism,

which is a concept that has.

Roots in political, religious,
organizational philosophy.

basically that disagreement
leads to better outcomes.

And it's not about everyone agreeing
but moving forward, even when we do not.

So WordPress itself.

Another great example here, WordPress
is not a singular mind or voice.

It is many with overlapping
buckets of priorities.

And so a culture of pluralism will
acknowledge the significance of

all of these different voices.

and I do really wanna make the
distinction here that this is.

Not about building consensus.

It's simply acknowledgement, meaning
that we do have to listen to other

people, and it is about being willing to
work together despite the disagreement.

And in order to build pluralism, we
have to engage and assert in turn.

So when we connect with conflict
and change and the people we have

to work with, we have to do both.

We have to engage and we have to hear what
other people believe are the problems.

Just as we share the same and we listen
to what we hold, what other people

hold as their priorities, and we assert
our own so that we do stand up for

ourselves, our clients, our teams.

To do this requires both the capacity
and the awareness and a balance of both.

this quote by Martin Luther King Jr.

Captures this sentiment.

Power without love is reckless
and abusive, and love without

power is sentimental and anemic.

Engaging and asserting in times
of complex change and conflict

helps to further the conversation.

However, if we go too far with
just one or the other, we're gonna

find ourselves only listening to
other people or only asserting our

priorities, and that comes at a cost to
ourselves and at any cans at progress.

And so to connect this to your
own work, I'm gonna offer you

this question for reflection

in a conflict or change that
you are currently facing, how

are you engaging and asserting?

So that's the first big leadership shift.

The second, leadership shift
that we is, that we are going to.

Abandon the illusion of control
in favor of experimentation.

one very unfortunate and also very normal
outcome of change and conflict is getting

stuck and we end up losing time to trying
to agree on the problem or the solutions.

and what we're doing there in
effect is that we are trying

to control the situation.

We're trying to get
certainty and clarity when.

We aren't going to get it.

It's, it's impossible to do so.

And so if we are willing to give
up some control, if we are willing

to accept that people disagree
with us, it frees us up to act.

And this step absolutely relies on
our ability to connect and engage with

change in conflict, because we need
to be able to connect with priorities

that are different from our own.

And when we can acknowledge that we don't
have some control here, we can experiment.

So, project managers and people who
love to plan in this room, I, I see you.

creating plans here can really help
as long as they are flexible and you

have some idea of knowing, when that
plan no longer makes sense, and then

longer term strategies can be realized
through this kind of experimentation.

And the goal here is to simply try
and to learn and then to try again.

success here is not that you
achieve every single, make your

priority, but rather success here is
getting unstuck and moving forward.

And to tie this into word pressy
terms lead like a jazz musician.

Improv is still bound by the definitions
of music, but allows for that

expression and experimental free form.

And, sometimes that, that unexpected
riff is what changes everything.

I.

So when it comes to abandoning
control and embracing experimentation,

I'm gonna ask you this.

In the conflict or change that
you are facing, what is a singular

step that you are willing to try?

All right, so that's number two.

And, we're gonna move on to the last big
leadership shift, which is, honestly the

most profound and the most challenging.

and it is you look inward and to
be willing to change yourself.

If you are currently in a leadership
role, you've probably had the

experience of leading a project
or a strategy or something where

some unexpected challenge came up.

And in that moment you probably examined
what happened, looked around, and you were

able to quickly identify what happened and
you were able to address it immediately.

And in this case.

You had control over
that situation, right?

You had the power to do so, but in
stretch collaboration, you're not

going to have that level of control.

So even if you do identify what
went wrong, chances are you're not

able to do much about it in that
moment, or at least exert that

much control over the situation.

And, unfortunately we experience
that more and more these days and

when that happens, one very natural
thing that people do, most people

do in this situation is to blame.

we say things like, oh my
God, what were they thinking?

God, they really shouldn't have done that.

If I were in charge, I
would not have done that.

you can see I, I'm good at doing this.

we, we say this to our friends,
sometimes we take to social media

and we get affirmation in return.

It is.

Really natural for us to
overestimate how correct we are

and the value of our actions.

yeah, I've done this a million times
and I will, likely continue to do so.

It's normal.

When we feel conflict, it's often
because something is going against

our value system and our priorities.

And so by overestimating how
correct I am in my actions,

I am affirming those values.

Right?

And, I'm also, affirming what
I do not want to stand up for.

Again, super normal thing to do.

what matters here is that we are
aware of it because one side effect of

overestimating how correct we are, is
that we underestimate, how correct other

people are and their values, and so.

If we hold onto this self-affirmation
too tightly, we really impede

any chance of moving forward.

One thing that you're always likely
to have control of in these moments

of conflict and change is control
over yourself and your actions.

And so growing yourself awareness and
examining where you might change is

a really powerful way to get unstuck.

And so, the next time I invite you
to just notice when you start to

blame others, when you are faced
with change in conflict, just

notice it, and then turn it inward.

What is your role here and what
are you willing to do differently?

So those are the three leadership shifts.

to recap real quick, in those moments
where scratch collaboration is needed

to address the complex changes and
conflicts you are facing, these

are the leadership shifts to try.

The first is to connect to the conflict
and change by engaging and asserting.

You have to know what your priorities
are, and you have to be willing to

acknowledge the priorities of others.

The second is to abandon the illusion of
control and focus on trying something,

even if it is something small.

and remember here, success is
getting unstuck and moving forward.

And then last but not least, to
look inward and to examine what you

are willing to change in yourself
so that you can change the dynamic

of the situation that you face.

Because remember,

change is inevitable.

Conflict is natural, and
leadership is learning to work

with both starting with yourself.

and as I wrap up here, I just wanna
acknowledge that, It is super easy for

me to come here and say all of this.

and so I really get it if, you're
dubious about some of this or

feeling overwhelmed or not sure.

because these are very
big, broad ideas that are.

Way easier said than done.

And we are really living in
uncertain, chaotic times.

And, I'm guessing that many of you
are under a lot of pressure right

now because leading other people is
already an immense responsibility.

And most of us probably know what it
feels like to be led by a great leader

or, conversely by a really terrible one.

And so choosing to lead from a place of
awareness and humility and responsibility

is not easy at all, but it is invaluable.

for, for your clients, for your team,
for your community, and for you.

Change is inevitable and conflict
is natural, and leadership is

learning to work with both.

Starting with yourself.

So the work that we do in here is just
as important as the work we do out there.

And moving forward is not
just an outward reaction.

It's not just an outward action.

It's sometimes resting and
reflecting, and sometimes it's

spending time with the people who
you love and who do think like you.

And sometimes it's just letting
yourself be because you cannot

navigate change or conflict.

If you are depleted or disconnected, and
so caring for yourself, getting rest,

finding joy, holding hope, those are all
essential leadership practices as well.

And so I'm gonna leave you with
one last question for reflection.

If change is inevitable and
conflict is natural, what kind of

leader would you be if you showed
up wholly unabashedly yourself?

And that's the invite.

It's not to fix it all, but
to stay engaged and to stay

human and to keep on leading.

That's it.

Thank you everyone.

my name's Angela and this is
how you can connect with me.

I am Angela Essin on
all the social medias.

and then if this talk was interesting
to you and you would like to chat more,

or if you are looking for a leadership
coach who is offering some very

competitive rates, because she isn't
trading right now, that QR code will

take you to my Calendly where I offer.

For, some free 30 minute consultations.

All right.

Matt: That's fantastic.

Thanks so much.

Angela, the, I just wanna make sure
as well, the call to action for

your domain is angela sgin.com,

that they can find you there for
the business as well, correct?

That's right.

Fantastic.